What is Paul referring to? When they showed up in Thessalonica, Paul preached in the local Jewish synagogue. A large number of peopletaken away."
Leaving Thessalonica abruptly left Paul "all the more eager with great desire to see their face." He literally "lusted" to see them. That might creep you out, but it shows how much he and Silas cared. Their love for the Thessalonians comes across in the next few verses…
1 Thessalonians 2:19 For who is our hope or joy or crown of exultation? Is it not even you, in the presence of our Lord Jesus at His coming? 20 For you are our glory and joy.
Has anyone ever spoken to you like this? Paul and Silas clearly treasured the Thessalonians and couldn't get them off their minds. They looked forward to the day when they would be together with God in heaven.
From Thessalonica, Paul and Silas journeyed to Berea, and from there, Paul went further south to Athens. Eventually, Timothy and Silas rejoined Paul in Athens (implied by Acts 17:15). By then their desire to know how the Thessalonians was overwhelming.
1 Thessalonians 3:1 Therefore when we could endure it no longer, we thought it best to be left behind at Athens alone, 2 and we sent Timothy, our brother and God's fellow worker in the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you as to your faith, 3 so that no one would be disturbed by these afflictions; for you yourselves know that we have been destined for this.
Paul and his crew knew the young Christians in Thessalonica were living in a hostile environment. And they wondered: would these new believers hang in there, or collapse under the strain of persecution?
"When they could endure it no longer," they made a difficult decision. They split up their team. This wasn't their first choice because it was safer to stay together. But they took the risk and sent Timothy north to Thessalonica.
1 Thessalonians 3:4 For indeed when we were with you, we kept telling you in advance that we were going to suffer affliction; and so it came to pass, as you know. 5 For this reason, when I could endure it no longer, I also sent to find out about your faith, for fear that the tempter might have tempted you, and our labor would be in vain. 6 But now Timothy has just returned…
This must have been like that moment when the surgeon comes out to tell the family how the operation went!
…bringing us good news about your faith and love. He reports that you always remember our visit with joy and that you want to see us as much as we want to see you. 7 So we have been greatly encouraged in the midst of our troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith. 8 It gives us new life to know that you are standing firm in the Lord.
The news was good! The Thessalonians weren't just surviving, they were thriving. Paul and his team managed to establish a resilient community of Christians at Thessalonica. They did this not only in Thessalonica, but in cities and towns all over the Roman Empire.
So what was it about the culture of this team that made them so effective?
This is a relevant question for us, especially in our church. If you don't know much about Xenos, we have large meetings like this, but the real life of our church is in our home churches. We have almost 100 post-college adult home churches that meet around the city. Christians in these groups have the same mission that Paul's team did: sharing the love of Christ with friends, family, and co-workers. So we can observe what Paul and his team valued and apply it to our situation.
This is also a relevant question if you are on a team of any kind—your family, a team at work, a sports team, or some kind of team in your community—you'll recognize principles here that make any team effective.
THE CULTURE OF PAUL'S TEAM
They expected suffering.
Paul was not caught off guard by the hostility and persecution he faced in Thessalonica and in other towns. We already read how he told the Thessalonians,
1 Thessalonians 3:4 "…we are going to suffer affliction…"
The word Paul uses for "affliction" is a broad term that can refer to life pressures of various kinds.Doubt: Is this really true?
Disappointment and Discouragement: When my attempts to serve others didn't go well.
Disagreements: Objections to my decision to follow Christ.
Fortunately, a few mature Christians had told me ahead of time that these challenges would be coming, and that they were normal. Paul did the same thing with the Thessalonians when he told them
1 Thessalonians 3:3 "…we have been destined for this."
The "we" in this verses don't just refer to Paul and his team. It doesn't just refer to the Thessalonians. It refers to all Christians. Jesus said,
John 16:33 "In the world you have tribulation…"
Paul promised,
2 Timothy 3:12 "Indeed, ALL who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted."
So it's not a question of IF, but rather WHEN adversity will come and HOW we will respond when it does! Knowing affliction is coming doesn't make it hurt less, but it does provide stability when things get hard.
Think about your situation: Is the role of suffering in the Christian life widely understood in your group? Your family? We have people coming into our home churches who have just become Christians. Has someone sat down with them and explained that suffering and adversity are a normal part of the Christian life?
The work we do in home churches—getting the word out—is the most important work in the world. Anything worth doing will involve disappointment, rejection, setbacks. Paul and his team understood that. It's part of what made them effective.
They allowed themselves to care.
Look how emotionally connected Paul's team was to the fate of the Thessalonians:
2:8 "Having so fond an affection for you…"
2:8 "You had become very dear to us."
2:20 "You are our glory and joy."
3:5 "I could endure if [not knowing how you were doing] any longer"
3:5 "I was afraid the tempter might have tempted you."
3:8 "We really live, if you stand firm in the Lord."
3:9 "What thanks can we render to God for you in return for all the joy with which we rejoice before our God on your account."
Paul allowed himself feel both positive emotions ("we really live"), and negative emotions like fear and anxiety as he thought about the Thessalonians. He and his team were emotionally connected to the welfare of the Thessalonians.
It makes you wonder, what would a modern-day self-help guru think of Paul's emotional attachment to them? I can hear one now…
"Paul, it's unhealthy for you to be so emotionally involved in the welfare of these folks. Don't absorb their negative energy! Let them do them. You do you!"
We're frequently counseled to protect ourselves from other people's pain, but that's not what we are seeing here. The notion that people could be in peril, people Paul had invested in, and that he wouldn't be concerned—Paul didn't have a category for that!
You may wonder, is Paul displaying some kind of neurosis or "codependence?" We can form unhealthy attachments to people when we take our sense of self-worth from decisions they make. It is bad when our sense of self-worth is based on how someone else responds to God.
But the proof that we have learned to take our security from God alone is not stoic detachment and indifference to the welfare of others. Rather, secure in God's love for us, we can be deeply concerned for each other in an emotionally healthy way.
That's what we see on Paul's team. That's why Paul prayed this in his second letter to the Thessalonians…
2 Thessalonians 3:5 May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ.
Paul and his companions found steadfastness, resilience, and stability in the love of God. That's what enabled them to open their hearts and emotions up to the Thessalonians.
When we operate without the foundation of God's love, it is natural to want to shut down and protect ourselves from other people's troubles. But there are dangers with that as well. C.S. Lewis writes:
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable." – C. S. Lewis
Reflect on how Paul felt about the Thessalonians. Do you feel this way about anyone outside your family? If you were raised around dangerous people who repeatedly hurt you, you probably learned how to not let yourself feel or care in order to survive. But God doesn't want you to stay there and stay numb.
God wants you to know his love in a personal way. This doesn't involve some ethereal technique where you draft positive energy from being around positive people. It comes from meeting the living God who loved you enough to send his own son to die for you. When you are anchored firmly in his love, you will find the emotional resilience needed to care for people the way Paul cared for the Thessalonians. Can you remember ever calling out to God for mercy and receiving his love and forgiveness through Christ? You can't love the way Paul is describing unless you first experience God's love for you.
They valued face-to-face investment.
This is another repeated theme in this passage…
2:17 "we… were all the more eager with great desire to see your face…"
2:18 "we wanted to come to you—I, Paul, more than once…"
3:10 "we pray very earnestly night and day to see you face-to-face…"
3:11 "Now may our God and Father Himself, and our Lord Jesus, direct our way to you…"
The repetition and emphatic language here indicates how important it was for Paul and his team to invest in people face-to-face.
Apparently, even though Paul was writing the Thessalonians an inspired letter—the very words of God, he thought being with them face-to-face would be even better.
Why was face-to-face time so important to Paul?
Think about your own experience. Isn't it true for many of us that the trajectory of our entire lives was altered by spending a significant amount of one-on-one time with a caring Christian?
There is no substitute for the presence of a caring person to help someone become a life-long follower of Christ. That's why Paul longed to spend time with the Thessalonians again.
What did this face-to-face investment involve?
It wasn't just teaching. Paul said,
1 Thessalonians 2:8 "…we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives…"
Paul and Silas spent time with them, and the Thessalonians responded by welcoming them into their homes. Paul and Silas formed a genuine bond of friendship with the Thessalonians.
It wasn't just hanging out. Paul taught them as much as he could. We saw last week in verse 13 of chapter 2 how…
1 Thessalonians 2:13 "…the word of God performs its work in those who believe…"
Paul knew God's word would transform and fortify the Thessalonians, so to "strengthen and encourage them in their faith" (3:2), he didn't just pat them on the back, he also taught them as much as possible. During the few months Paul was with the Thessalonians he taught themThe gospel (1:5; 2:2; 2:9).
The inevitability of suffering (3:3, 4).
How to live in a way that pleases God (4:1).
Sexual ethics (4:6).
What the Bible says about the future (5:2).
How to relate to leaders (5:12, 13).
So what did Paul's face-to-face investment involve? Friendship building AND learning content. Both. Not just one or the other. Paul wasn't "either or" when it came to training and friendship. He was "both and." He loved people tenderly AND taught them extensively! This is how he invested in people everywhere he went.
There are many obstacles to this kind of face-to-face, content-full investment today.
Pitting friendship against structured learning.
Some may disparage content-filled relationships as being "agenda driven" or "too structured." But remember, God's word is life itself. If you are the one doing the instructing, don't be apologetic about sharing what you know.
And if you're that person who can't be troubled with being taught, you are missing out! Part of what I enjoy the most about my friendships has to do with what we're learning together about God. That's part of what makes Christian friendships so enjoyable!
Not being fully present with someone.
If you want to prepare someone to face adversity, you must be fully present with them. But that is increasingly hard to do.
During the day, we are continually interacting with our phones. So when we sit down to talk to a real live human being, it's hard to break that digital connection and give them our full attention.
How many times have you seen two people hanging out who are staring at their phones? People are often more connected with their phone than they are with each other.
If you glance down and see you have text messages, or Instagram or Facebook notifications, do you really think you can give someone your full attention? And how do you feel when you are with someone and their phone is binging and buzzing and demanding their attention?
Don't get wrong, I'm not opposed to smart phones. I own one! But many of us respond to our phones like laboratory rats are conditioned to respond to a pellet of food!
Sherry Turkel (MIT) "My students tell me about an important new skill: it involves maintaining eye contact with someone while you text someone else; it's hard, but it can be done... In conversation we (must)... attend to tone and nuance. In conversation, we are called upon to see things from another's point of view. Face-to-face conversation unfolds slowly. It teaches patience. (But) when we communicate on our digital devices, we learn different habits." - "The Flight from Conversation," by Sherry Turkle. New York Times, April 21, 2012.
We need to resist being conformed to our culture in this area. You cannot do the kind of face-to-face investment Paul did unless you break free from your phone and fully dial into the person in front of you!
Not knowing where to begin.
Still others want to invest in someone, but don't know where to begin.
You can start by finding someone who is interested in studying with you.
You don't have to be the one with all the knowledge. You can tell someone, "Hey, I've never carefully studied the book of Hebrews. Let's read it out loud and talk about it together." Or, "I found this book on Heaven. I've heard it's pretty good. Let's go through it together and see what we learn.
And when we hang out, let's update each other on what's going on and pray for each other and for our group."
People often say, "I don't have a younger Christian to study with right now, so there's no point in doing this." Not true. Building a friendship with someone and learning about God together—every Christian should be pursuing that kind of face-to-face investment with someone.
Summary:
What I am describing—friendship building AND learning together—happens in discipleship. Christian communities that don't have this will lack the resilience to face adversity. God wants something different for us. He wants the norm in our church to be face-to-face personal investment.
They prayed for each other.
I have a friend in my home church who has an aggressive form of cancer. Our group is rallying around him with meals, visits, sharing God's truth, etc. But we're painfully aware our attempts to help aren't enough. Ultimately, only God can fully address his needs. So we pray. We go to God himself, who has infinite resources, and ask him to sustain our friend through these dark times in his life. When we are facing adversity, prayer is the most powerful thing we can do to help each other. It was something Paul's team emphasized.
1 Thessalonians 3:9 For what thanks can we render to God for you in return for all the joy with which we rejoice before our God on your account, 10 as we night and day keep praying most earnestly that we may see your face, and may complete what is lacking in your faith? 11 Now may our God and Father Himself and Jesus our Lord direct our way to you; 12 and may the Lord cause you to increase and abound in love for one another, and for all people, just as we also do for you;
What did they pray for? Paul mentions two things…
Paul asked God for additional opportunities for face-to-face investment. He wanted to be present with the Thessalonians again so they could "complete what was lacking in their faith."
Paul prayed that God would cause the Thessalonians to "increase and abound in their love for each other and for all people."
Were his prayers ever answered? At first God's answer must have felt like a "no," or a "not yet," or a "not now" because Paul went for years without seeing the Thessalonians again. But then, about five years after these prayers
So, if you want to help someone who is in or soon will be in a tough time, pray for them. And don't be deterred by a seeming "no." Whether God's answer is "no" for now, or "no" for good, or "yes" in a fuller way than you can imagine—you can be sure that God is committed to helping the people you pray for.
They focused on their bright future with God.
Ever notice how brand-new drivers focus on what is right in front of them?
They stare at the cars directly ahead or focus on staying inside the pavement lines. That's not a good way to drive. Experienced drivers look further down the road to see what is coming in order to better navigate through traffic.
It works the same way with Christians. Christians who take a long view, who keep their eyes on Christ and eternity with him will do a better job navigating through life and the adversity it throws at us.
This forward-looking perspective was a distinguishing feature of Paul's team. You see this perspective throughout this letter. In the last verse of chapter 3, Paul asks that God would…
1 Thessalonians 3:13 …establish your hearts without blame in holiness before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all His saints.
This was Paul's dream: the Thessalonians standing blameless before God, with other forgiven Christians, in heaven, forever. And he knew that one day, his dream would become a reality. Near the end of this letter, Paul makes the same request,
1 Thessalonians 5:23 Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
And then he expresses his total confidence that God will make it happen:
1 Thessalonians 5:24 Faithful is he who calls you, and he also will bring it to pass.
When we hang out with people, it's easy to forget this. It's easy to forget how committed God is to completely transforming every Christian.
We focus on what is right in front of us: their shortcomings, their selfishness, their ingrained patterns of sin. But Paul was able to look past the car ahead of him, so to speak, look past the real and present flaws of the Thessalonians and forward to who they were becoming.
This has to be part of the way we see each other.
The next time you are with a Christian and they are driving you nuts with their same old irritating idiosyncrasies, don't pull out your cell phone and check the weather. Instead, imagine where they are headed. Think about how one day they will be blameless, transformed, in a new glorious body, so stunning you'd be tempted to worship them. That's who you are talking to. We are rubbing shoulders with eternal creatures who have a bright future in front of them.
When this is the prevailing attitude in a home group, when we keep our eyes focused on our amazing future with God, our whole group will be better prepared to follow Christ through adversity!
CONCLUSION
We can't change the culture of our home church alone. But we can act in ways that improve our group's ethos. What about you? How are you contributing to the culture in your home church?
Are you surprised by adversity? Do you realize every Christian who decides to follow God will face hard times sooner or later?
Are you allowing yourself to care, on a deep level, for others? Or are you emotionally walled-off from other people?
Are you committed to face-to-face investment? Are you willing to build regular time into your schedule to be with someone face-to-face to build a friendship and learn about Christ together? Is that the norm in your group?
Are you praying for people in your group and focused on the bright future God has for them?
If this is the culture in your home church, your group will thrive and be resilient, even through hard times!