Introduction
Briefly review setting. Chapter 4 begins with “finally then”—which
signals a transition. Paul turns now from reviewing his relationship with
the Thessalonian Christians to elaborating on the instruction he gave
them when he was there (read 4:1). He acknowledges the great progress
they have made in their walks with God, and he urges them not to regress
but to keep pressing forward in these areas.
Notice where he starts (read 4:2-3)—by addressing the importance
of sexual purity. The first thing we need to do, then, is define what
Paul means by “sexual immorality” (porneia). It refers here
(and throughout the Bible) to all sexual relations outside of heterosexual
marriage.
Why? Because God is a cosmic kill-joy, a hung-up prude, a cruel sadist
who gets off on tantalizing us and then smacking our hands? No, God
is the One who created human sexuality and gave us the nerve-endings
to enjoy sexual pleasure. The God of the Bible inspired Solomon to write
"The Song of Solomon," which exalts romantic and sexual love.
The issue is one of design. That's why Paul describes sexual purity
as “sanctification.” This word means “set apart for the
purpose for which it was intended” (BALL-POINT PEN). As our Creator,
God designed human sexuality to be a physically pleasurable, potentially
reproductive, and above all a deeply personal and relationally cementing
union between a husband and wife (see Genesis 2:24).
This is why, in the Old Testament, to “lie with” is a negative
commentary on sexual misuse. “To know” is the verb used to
describe sex as God designed it. In this context, it mysteriously mirrors
the joyous, self-giving love between the Persons of the God-head (Genesis
1:27) that overflows in the creation of other persons.
This positive implies a negative—namely, that all sexual relations
outside of heterosexual marriage are a corruption of God's design and
therefore morally wrong (see Hebrews 13:4). This includes not only those
acts which our culture still deems unacceptable (sexual abuse; incest;
bestiality), but also those acts about which our culture is morally ambivalent
or accepting (adultery; group sex; homosexuality; pre-marital hetero-sex).
QUALIFICATION: I am not arguing that all of these practices are equally
destructive, or that they should have the same legal/social penalties
(that is a very complex subject); I am simply staking out the moral
ground. To walk with and please God involves trusting his wisdom and
design in this area.
Christians are called to be different here! Because of the power of our
sexual urges, because of our fallen natures, and because of the prevalence
of sexual immorality in our environment, there is an insidious temptation
to “lower the bar” in this area. That's why Paul's reminder
in this passage is aimed at refuting the most common rationalizations
. . .
Common Rationalizations
“Paul's instruction is personal opinion, culturally bound, etc.—and
therefore not authoritative.” Paul is only offering his human
perspective shaped by his culture, rather than a word from God that transcends
culture.
You hear this all the time these days (UNDERGRAD PROFESSORS; SECULAR
THERAPISTS; NEW TESTAMENT “SCHOLARS”).
But Paul goes out of his way to claim that he speaks as a messenger
of Jesus on this matter: “we exhort you in the Lord Jesus”
(4:1); “you know what commandments we gave you by the authority
of the Lord Jesus” (4:2); “this is the will of God” (4:3).
The culture in which he spoke disagreed just as profoundly as our culture
does. Except for the DOUBLE STANDARD that men enjoyed, it was just as
immersed in sexual immorality as ours is (RITUAL PROSTITUTION; SODOMITES;
RAMPANT PROMISCUITY; WIVES FOR HEIRS & MISTRESSES FOR SEXUAL EXCITEMENT).
This is not cultural accommodation—it is confrontation!
Furthermore, this is the biblical position from the beginning and across
all cultural contexts.
“Suppression of sexual desire is unnatural and harmful.”
This is the conclusion that flows from rejecting revelation about human
sexuality, and viewing it only in terms of “plumbing and fluid dynamics.”
We are urged to view ourselves as animals and take our sexual cues
from animals.
We are told that all attempts to restrict our sexual urges are perverse
and psychologically harmful.
We are told that sexual desire is like physical hunger or elimination—we
will be damaged if we don't satisfy it. We are told that our culture's
sexual practices do not match the biblical norms—so the norms must
be wrong (LOGIC OF KINSEY REPORT & SEXUAL REVOLUTION).
But Paul argues just the opposite direction (read 4:4,5)—not that
we should view our sexuality as evil, but that we should learn how
to control our bodies in this area rather than be slaves to our lusts.
Sexual self-control, motivated by respect for God and others (4:4),
is a good thing! Slavery to sexual urges is dehumanizing.
Where are the examples of harm from sexual self-control? Because God
made us as sexual beings, we should not feel guilty about having sexual
desires. But it is not true that choosing to say "no" to acting
on sexual desire is physically or psychologically harmful. I have yet
to meet anyone who physically injured himself because he didn't have
sex. And if you want to talk about sex-related harm, it is overwhelmingly
related to unrestrained sexual activity (as we'll see soon).
Do we really want to take our sex education from the animal world and
sex surveys? Should we eat our sexual partners after sex, like many
spiders do? Should we take cat sex as our paradigm? Should we approve
of rape and incest and child sexual abuse because of its statistical
prevalence in our society? There is no way to derive a moral “ought”
from the “is” of what animals and humans do. So we use such
information to rationalize activities we want to practice—but still
ignore it where it is personally offensive. We need a moral compass
to guide our sexuality that is not subject to the fluctuations of fallen
human opinion—which is exactly what the Bible claims to give us!
“Sexual relations between consenting partners is not harmful.”
This is dogma in our culture (especially among high school and college
students), and you will receive a blistering rebuke if you dare to disagree.
As Wendy Shalit says, sexual modesty has gone from a virtue to prudery
to pathology; jaded sexual promiscuity has become “mature.”
Yet this is pure myth and propaganda, a reality-denying rationalization.
Paul denies this expressly in 4:6-7 (read). Because God has designed
us for sexual purity, we unleash terrific damage to ourselves and others
when we violate his design. Paul is not saying that you lose your chance
to go to heaven if you commit sexual immorality (later). Rather, he
is saying that because a moral God has constructed human beings in his
image, we experience his judgment when we violate in the sense that
we damage ourselves and others: “You can't ultimately break God's
moral laws; you break yourself upon them."”
For 30 years now, I've been working among the wreckage of the sexual
revolution with people who have been broken by this lie.
I'm not just talking about the danger of STD's, which is killing millions
of people all over the world.
I'm talking about the wound in your soul when you give a part of yourself
that you can never have back, and then the other person leaves. I'm
talking about teenage girls and boys who have sex out of peer pressure
(rather than love or even desire for pleasure) at 14 or 15 to “get
it out of the way.” And they are not allowed to say it hurts, because
that would give the lie to the dogma. I'm talking about college students
describing their sexual activity as “hooking up” and “just
another contact sport.” No wonder they are cynical about real love—you
have to harden yourself to deaden the pain!
I'm talking about the lie that having multiple sexual partners before
marriage will help you find someone who is sexually compatible, when
those who have had sex only with their spouses report much higher sexual
satisfaction. I'm talking about the damage of guilt and boredom and
poor performance in marriage because of all the porn and other partners
you compare your spouse to.
I'm talking about the lie that living together will help you succeed
in marriage, when cohabitors are 80% more likely to get divorced and
report a much higher incidence of marital infidelity.
I'm talking about the precious children born out of wedlock (not to
mention those who are aborted) who suffer because they don't have an
intact family to grow up in—no matter what word games we play about
what “family” means. I'm talking about the way adultery rips
a family apart and tears up the children of divorce (for which adultery
is the number reason cited).
How much more of this wreckage do we have to reap before we're ready
to drop the denial and admit that sexual immorality is destroying us?
We're like the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand while the
lion chews its back-side. There is no such thing as “victimless”
sexuality immorality! This is why God is so strong on this issue—because
he loves us and knows what is best for us.
“Sexual purity is irrelevant to spiritual vitality.” Spirituality
is in today—but only spirituality that has no binding moral authority.
We want a god who has been morally castrated so we can use him/it to facilitate
our own agendas. The sad thing is that more and more Christians, instead
of being an attractive contrast to this, are conforming to it. I commonly
hear professed Christians expressing outrage that other Christians' “judge”
them because of their sexual immorality.
Evidently, some of the Thessalonian Christians were saying this about
Paul. But he says that there is no such thing as rejecting God's teaching
on this area and being spiritually healthy (read 4:8). It is not uptight
people getting down on you—it is God's Holy Spirit convicting you.
He is the Spirit of truth, and he indwells you personally train your
conscience concerning God's moral will for your life. You can't reject
his instruction and correction and have a healthy, intimate relationship
with him (read 1 John 1:5-6).
SUMMARIZE: Repeat the tendency to lower the bar in this are to where
we live. The point of this passage is to keep the bar where God keeps
it—and ask God to provide us with the resources we need to lift us
up to it . . .
God's provision for restoration
But God doesn't just hold the bar high on this issue—he also provides
the resources to help us (Romans 5:20b). Paul doesn't cover these resources
in this passage, but he does elsewhere. There is a lot to this; I can
only summarize the high points and give you a personal picture.
He will forgive your guilt. The biggest consequence of sexual
immorality is that it is rebellion against God that renders you guilty
before him. The beginning of all true restoration in this area (as in
any moral area) is having your guilt before God washed away. God is willing
and able to forgive you and cleanse your conscience (Psalm 103:8-12).
He sent his Son to die the death you owe him because of your rebellion.
He is ready to give you his forgiveness as a permanent gift today, right
now. He doesn't need or want your penance. The only condition is that
you come to him admitting your guilt before him, casting yourself on his
mercy through Christ.
If you have never done this before, this is what it means to be a Christian
. . .
If you have already received Christ, God has not rejected you because
of your sexual sin. But you need to appropriate his forgiveness when
you fall in the same basic way as above.
He will heal your wounds. But God provides more than forgiveness,
as wonderful as it is. He also can bring substantial healing into your
life in this area (Psalm 147: 3, 5, 11). He may not remove all of the
consequences for your sexual sins, but he can change your heart and restore
much of your innocence and purity. I have seen God do this with people
with an amazing amount of sexual damage—this church is full of such
people. It takes time and cooperation on your part—to embrace sexual
purity from the heart, flee sexual immorality, and pursue real relational
intimacy with God and other Christians (2 Timothy 2:22).
I have asked Cindy Botti to share her own experiences in this area to
encourage you and give you a peek at how God does this . . .
Footnotes
Copyright
2000 Gary DeLashmutt