After years of chasing identity through the military, trades, and a lifestyle of drugs and alcohol, Ian Greary hit rock bottom at 3am on a cold New Hampshire night — and heard something that changed everything.
I was in the ministry houses from 14 to 16, and then in April of 2016, without telling anybody, I didn't tell anybody in the house and talk to my parents about it, but April 11th of 2016, I joined the Army. And then that was like a Monday afternoon, went to the recruiting station, and then same week that Friday was on a bus to the airport for basic training. So basically just like put my old life behind me and was just like, I'm going off to do something different.
Like I said, I used the Army to get away from Ohio. And then after basic training, got orders to Fort Campbell, Kentucky, which is six hours away from Ohio. And I was like, what the hell? But yeah, so did the whole Army thing.
It was fun, met a lot of cool dudes through it, got to do some cool stuff. I was deployed to Iraq in 16 to 17. Towards the end of my Army career, when I was like having to figure out what I was going to do after the Army, a buddy of mine hit me up and we talked and he convinced me and I moved up to New Hampshire.
And yeah, I was just like living for self, living for the world. Had that identity crisis where it was like, you know, who am I? A lot of my identity was coming from like the jobs that I had, like I worked in the trades. So it was like, all right, if I can get like a prestigious trade job, then I can like set roots down somewhere, just start grinding out the, you know, get the white picket fence with the house and the garage and the dog.
And the two DUIs happened. And that kind of flipped my world completely upside down. And it was kind of around then when I kind of started to like flounder in life.
I was like, I don't really know what to do anymore. Like, can't get a decent job because I don't have my license. Can't really go anywhere because I don't have my license.
And that was just like such a bartender at a local college bar. Got super ingrained in like that lifestyle where it was just drugs and alcohol 24-7. And yeah, it was probably up there for a year until I kind of had, I like to, I coined it to myself as like my coming to Jesus moment.
Remember getting home from work in the bar one night. It was like 3am, 4am. And at that point in time, I was, you know, doing drugs to stay awake and doing more drugs and drinking to go to bed.
And so I remember I was sitting in this, I rented a room at some dude's house. And it was like wintertime. So it was like cold outside.
And I had my windows open because I was doing nefarious activities in my room. But yeah, I don't know. I was like sitting there.
And this thought just like kept kind of hitting me where I was just like, man, this isn't really that fun. I'm not really enjoying what I'm doing. Yeah, I fell to my knees in tears and was just like sobbing on the ground uncontrollably.
And I was just like, this can't be my life. This is horrible. Nothing I'm doing feels good.
It doesn't seem like there's I'm moving anywhere in life. I feel super stuck. And as I'm like sitting there just like sobbing on the ground, this kind of like this thought like intruded into my into my head.
And it was just like, you know, it felt like somebody was talking to me. It was just like, yeah, you're right. Like, this isn't what your life should be.
Like, you're totally right. And then I started thinking about the church back here in Ohio. And I hadn't thought about dwell in so many years.
At that point, I didn't even own a Bible anymore. And I started thinking about like, all the dudes that I knew back here. I started thinking about my brothers, both my younger brothers are still in the church and been involved.
And kind of the thought I had along with that, I was just like, yeah, well, that's like, you know, it's a cool thought to think about them. But like, there's no way I could go back to Ohio. Like I have, I have burned those bridges.
Nobody wants to see Ian Greary anymore. I like reached out to Etienne over text and was kind of just like, what's up, dude? It's been too long. Like, hey, I think I'm moving back.
Like, would love to like see you and like reconnect. And that's kind of when that like the story of the prodigal son kind of really starts to hit hard is I remember being back in Ohio and me and Etienne had like carved out a time. He was like, come over for dinner.
Sean's going to make us huge spread. We'll just catch up. Yeah, I remember I was like driving to their house.
I think I think I ended up being like 40 minutes late to like the time we had sex. I just drove around their block for 40 minutes, just like completely overthinking it and just being like, this is a bad idea. Like, he's just going to get on my ass about this.
He's just going to be mad at me. But then finally, like mustered up the courage, parked, walked up to the door, knocked on it. And yeah, I mean, the reception that him and Sean gave me was just like, blew all those thoughts out of the water.
I remember like both of them are like fighting to give me a hug and just like say how happy they were to see me again. I mean, like we didn't even I mean, she had like the whole table set. We didn't really eat dinner till like a while later because we just like sat down on their couches.
It's like the next hour. We're just like, like all three of us just like crying tears of joy. And yeah, they were just like so excited to see me and so excited to hear about what I had been up to, which is like nothing.
But yeah, I remember leaving their house that night and just feeling like this huge sense of relief. I can't quote this one off of the top of my head, but it's Psalms 84 10. Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. One day with the Lord is, you know, it's not worth anything else. Like nothing else can compare being connected to the Lord.
That was like the thing that I was lacking in life prior to coming back here was like did fun stuff, but like none of it was joyful. Um, it, you know, I did it, it was over and then I was back to the, to the same feeling. But yeah, nowadays it's like, you know, everything is so, so it's just so full of joy.
Um, yeah.